The merits of being a loser!

Where does merit stand in this every increasing competitive world? Sounds like a stupid question right? 

Merit stands first! - this is what every accomplished individual would say. I am curious to know what a loser would say? 

I define a loser as - a person who could have been an accomplished individual given an opportunity! Note the usage of "could have been", which reflects the probabilistic nature of the definition. Given an opportunity, the individual may still may not be able to accomplish themselves. But not giving an opportunity (an unbiased one, of course) gives them the chance to whine and complain. And, yes I am whining and complaining!

"Never give up on your dream!", "Be passionate about achieving the goals" were some of the quotes we were exposed to during our childhood. Even today a lot of motivational speakers lay emphasis on this aspect. However, the practical mind would disagree, and give up after a certain number of attempts. Of course, the number varies, could be anywhere between zero and five. I personally haven't met anyone who went past five. 

I believe that there is an optimal number of attempts before giving up. Going beyond the optimal number would only affect our mental health or health of our family relationship. That is, if you have a family, your passion has direct relation to the sacrifices of your partner. For example: you are passionate about playing a sport and spend most of the evenings practicing, and your partner is left alone to take care of the home and the kids after their office. This puts a lot of mental and physical stress on your partner and would eventually affect the health of your family relationship.

I always wanted to be a teacher like my mother. I did what anyone would do: Bachelors, PhD, and postdocs. I tried getting a faculty position from 2014. Every year I applied to over 75 universities (Applied Mathematics, Civil Engineering, Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering) - that is over 100 applications every year. I finally gave up in 2018 after nearly 400 applications.

Now, I am happy where I am - a concept engineer at a sports company designing high performance equipment! I still do a lot of reading, research, presentations and writing. And along with all these, I get to spend lots and lots of time with my family. My weekends are filled with enjoying time with my 3 year old - taking him to beach, train station, zoo, park, walk, ride, and sometimes to the golf course. I doubt, if I could have done all these had I been a Professor.

Few more findings - reading and writing at home is only to improve my skills and has nothing to do with publishing a new finding. With this new mindset, I was be able to come up with lots of new ideas. As someone said - "The mind is like a parachute, it works only when it is open". So true, when you have no interest in pushing your agenda, you will see more beauty and ideas in a research article. This is missing in half of the academic researchers, where finding faults and pushing one's own methodology/ideas is looked upon as greatness!

I know not many people read this blog, but for the rare random reader - It is not wrong to give up after a certain number of sincere attempts! 

Give up your passion for your mental health, give up your passion for your family, and most importantly be passionate about that which gives you happiness! - in my case: research, reading, and family! and the compromise? TEACHING!

- always the one and only

Sundar