How and where should I start?? not a question for you bhek fellows...me thinking and talking to myself! there are two startings...number wan, 100% rejects for faculty applications! surprising!..13 papers (out of which 1 single author paper), one year outreach in the Yo Baltimore! still couldn't cross the first screening! any guesses as to why??? yesssss!! you are right! my PhD is just from IISc Bangalore and not from US or UK! cha I dont want to whine about this, but I just did naansense.
Anywhoo, I will focus on the second mega giga peta penta matter that nullifies the above frustration, disappointment, sadness, sorrow, dukkham and mokkai feeling.
I yaaam a daddddyyyyyyyyy!
yesss!! my kutti payyan is here!
eureeekhaaaa...myrekhaaaa...everyonesrekhaaaaa!!
the beautiful smile he gives makes us forget the entire sorrows we have for just a second...and makes us realize that he just pooped and his diaper needs to be changed!
diaper changing is the most difficult job in the US. You guyz know the reason???!! carpetttsss!
Kids have this attitude: "my home is my toilet!" and fortunately in India most of the homes have concrete floors ( I mean the material concrete, and not the 'concrete' in 'concrete management plan'), so no tensions in cleaning the susu and pupu. Just water the floor and put some komiyam in it for fragrance! For the ignorant mokkais...the komiyam is for satire. Which idiot thinks that it is a good idea to spray cow's urine for cleaning human's urine?!?!?!? ewwwwww!
US la it is totally a different 'ball' game!
You have to be skilled to avert the spraying of poop and pee onto yourself, floor, and other diapers kept aside. Babies are embedded with one of the efficient machine learning algos. They observe our strategies keenly and come up with different strategies to spray on us and around! amazing isn't it! I think big or small for that matter tech giants should invest in these and understand how babies are able to do this. The patent for this mokka idea lies with me (Sundar the great)!
its more than a week now since the baby arrived, and now it is much more difficult to decipher his smile...is it
I just pooped, please change (or drop the please)
I will poop in sometime, so change at your own risk.
I am messing with you
I am happy because I look better than you
A surprise awaits as soon as you open the diaper!
Well...I am just a dumb postdoc! so I will not guess anything and will just deal with the consequences! I am playing a game with myself..how many times can I dodge the baby's matter before it is inevitable! So far the count is 4, lets c!
This probably is one of my longer blogs...so this is the right time to take break and get lost, or continue if you want to fall asleep!
It all started on the 24th early morning at around 4:00 am. Kayal woke me up saying she is having contractions. Immediately I took my phone and started to time it....probably the only thing my makku brain could understand during the child birth classes. It was a 511...juntaaa 511 na contractions are 5 minutes apart, each lasting 1 min and continues for 1 hr. At 5:00 am I started to organize the hospital bag and my snacks (you never know how long the labor might take, another thing I remembered from the classes....don't forget soru). I came out of our room to take Kayal's slippers and looked at my confused father-in-law and said "today is the day!". As usual he got even more confused now. By the time he could react I went back to our room. Kayal morachified at me and asked me to go and tell her dad that it is 511 and when we reach 411 we will go to the hospital and that she is doing fine with the pain now. As usual I was awesome in conveying that message!
1 hr passed..511 started to become 611 and then 511. We called the doctor, she asked us to come to her office at 9:15 am. We one range went to the doctor....on the way the contractions were 511, so all izz well, all izz well! Reached the doctor, and we were (at least I was) expecting 2 or 3 cm dilation, so that we can be admitted to the hospital and deliver the baby. The doctor checked and said "you are barely dilated. But don't be discouraged, go back to your home and tell me when you reach 411". Well, we came back, and even on the way it was 511. What happened over the next couple of hours: sit, sit on the ball, stand, lie down, upward dog, downward dog, doggie dog position, walk, walk and talk....we literally tried all the positions that help induce labor. The contraction timings kept varying from 411 to 811. At 10:00 pm we called the doctor and said we were having contractions from morning. The doctor asked us to go to the hospital so that we might feel comfortable. Took the packed bag and snacks and went to the hospital at around 11:30 pm. Before leaving the house I said to my FIL - "I'll be back to pick you guys, or both of us will come back home".
The nurse checked and said that its only 1 cm dilation and they would admit only when the expectant mom has dilated at least 3 cm. "you'll take another 10-20 hrs honey" the nurse said. However, they called the doctor and asked "what do you want Kayal to do". The doctor in turn asked "what does Kayal want?". The answer, any guesses??? "Sleeppp! I want to sleep!!". The doctor prescribed a mild sedative and said it might help her sleep for 2-4 hrs, and asked us to come back to the hospital in case it doesn't work. Took the tablet, had some late night dinner (dosaiiiii) and slept. I had a mokkai cold for the past 2 days...so I also took a cold tablet and slept. Kayal had problems sleeping and was struggling with pain from 3:00 am. I woke up at around 3:45 and tried to console her (as if that helps). The timing was around 411-511. I kept telling Kayal to breathe and she just told me to call the doctor! I called the doctor at 4:19 and said "my wife is in unbearable pain, we want to go to the hospital!!". The doctor said "okay, go". Called the labor and delivery and said we were coming. Kayal slowly walked up to car and put on her seat belt. Again me to the FIL - "I'll admit Kayal and come back to pick up you". I slowly drove to the hospital, parked the car in the 10 min loading and unloading area, pulled the wheel chair, loaded Kayal onto the chair and took her to the labor and delivery ward. While I was signing some documents, Kayal was taken to the delivery room. Kayal went into the room and said "I need to use the restroom now!" The nurses were like "ok, go ahead". The nurse Sherlock Holmes range ku thought something and checked Kayal, and said "Honey you need to push the baby out. There is nothing to do in the restroom. Lets go to the bed". Kayal slowly walked to the bed and after she lied down, I could see the fuzzy hair of our kid!! I told Kayal "Our Napa is here! I can see his head. He has lot of hair!" The doctor came and introduced himself to me "Hi, I am Scissero", at least that is what I think his name was (because he carried a lot of scissors with him when he came in). Everyone were moving here and there....I was like - akka endha oorathula naan poi nikkanum nu sollunga. For the tamil challenged people I asked which corner I should go and stand. The nurse akka told...dho andha oorathula poi muttiko. I went to that oram and muttified with a table. The same nurse akka told Kayal "Honey, I can see your baby's head. It is too late for epidural or any pain medication, but we will help you get through the pain". Dr. Scissero got ready to deliver the baby. First contraction push: the head slighly bulged out and went in. Second push the same. The third push and the baby was out! The baby turned just like professional waiter turn the wine bottle after pouring in the clockwise direction. "Do you want to cut the cord?" asked the doctor. "Ofcourse" I said. Cutted the cord and heard the baby cry! whattey sweet sound - the first and last time any parent smiles when the baby cries! I feel sorry for the support staff in the room :(. We came in at 5:00 am and the staff were getting the IV setup and doing all the arrangements. They were half way through and the baby came out at 5:15 am. Vandha vegathula they packed and left :D.
Whattey wonderful magical moment!
Time for some mokka advice:
1. Men should take half of the responsibility during pregnancy, labor, childbirth, and taking care of the child after birth, I say!
2. IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE DAD TO TAKE CARE OF THE MOM AND THE BABY.
3. Grandparents are just additional support! Dads should follow the sleep/feeding cycle of the baby and mom for at least the first week, so that they understand what a women goes through after child birth. Just leaving the mom and baby with their grandparents is not right! Dads should step up! Do the laundry, vacuum the house, cook tasty meal (at least meal if not tasty), change the diaper, burp the baby, clean the poopy clothes, etc etc!
Well this is what a baby in life does to the mokkai master....it makes him feel more responsible and educate the ignorant people!
Something is missing...what abba??? yesss! the punch line!
A delivery with no IV, no hassle, no delay, not even a single needle into the skin! That's my wonder woman Kayalvizhi, and her protector Imai!
Signing off
The great one!
Anywhoo, I will focus on the second mega giga peta penta matter that nullifies the above frustration, disappointment, sadness, sorrow, dukkham and mokkai feeling.
I yaaam a daddddyyyyyyyyy!
yesss!! my kutti payyan is here!
eureeekhaaaa...myrekhaaaa...everyonesrekhaaaaa!!
the beautiful smile he gives makes us forget the entire sorrows we have for just a second...and makes us realize that he just pooped and his diaper needs to be changed!
diaper changing is the most difficult job in the US. You guyz know the reason???!! carpetttsss!
Kids have this attitude: "my home is my toilet!" and fortunately in India most of the homes have concrete floors ( I mean the material concrete, and not the 'concrete' in 'concrete management plan'), so no tensions in cleaning the susu and pupu. Just water the floor and put some komiyam in it for fragrance! For the ignorant mokkais...the komiyam is for satire. Which idiot thinks that it is a good idea to spray cow's urine for cleaning human's urine?!?!?!? ewwwwww!
US la it is totally a different 'ball' game!
You have to be skilled to avert the spraying of poop and pee onto yourself, floor, and other diapers kept aside. Babies are embedded with one of the efficient machine learning algos. They observe our strategies keenly and come up with different strategies to spray on us and around! amazing isn't it! I think big or small for that matter tech giants should invest in these and understand how babies are able to do this. The patent for this mokka idea lies with me (Sundar the great)!
its more than a week now since the baby arrived, and now it is much more difficult to decipher his smile...is it
I just pooped, please change (or drop the please)
I will poop in sometime, so change at your own risk.
I am messing with you
I am happy because I look better than you
A surprise awaits as soon as you open the diaper!
Well...I am just a dumb postdoc! so I will not guess anything and will just deal with the consequences! I am playing a game with myself..how many times can I dodge the baby's matter before it is inevitable! So far the count is 4, lets c!
This probably is one of my longer blogs...so this is the right time to take break and get lost, or continue if you want to fall asleep!
It all started on the 24th early morning at around 4:00 am. Kayal woke me up saying she is having contractions. Immediately I took my phone and started to time it....probably the only thing my makku brain could understand during the child birth classes. It was a 511...juntaaa 511 na contractions are 5 minutes apart, each lasting 1 min and continues for 1 hr. At 5:00 am I started to organize the hospital bag and my snacks (you never know how long the labor might take, another thing I remembered from the classes....don't forget soru). I came out of our room to take Kayal's slippers and looked at my confused father-in-law and said "today is the day!". As usual he got even more confused now. By the time he could react I went back to our room. Kayal morachified at me and asked me to go and tell her dad that it is 511 and when we reach 411 we will go to the hospital and that she is doing fine with the pain now. As usual I was awesome in conveying that message!
1 hr passed..511 started to become 611 and then 511. We called the doctor, she asked us to come to her office at 9:15 am. We one range went to the doctor....on the way the contractions were 511, so all izz well, all izz well! Reached the doctor, and we were (at least I was) expecting 2 or 3 cm dilation, so that we can be admitted to the hospital and deliver the baby. The doctor checked and said "you are barely dilated. But don't be discouraged, go back to your home and tell me when you reach 411". Well, we came back, and even on the way it was 511. What happened over the next couple of hours: sit, sit on the ball, stand, lie down, upward dog, downward dog, doggie dog position, walk, walk and talk....we literally tried all the positions that help induce labor. The contraction timings kept varying from 411 to 811. At 10:00 pm we called the doctor and said we were having contractions from morning. The doctor asked us to go to the hospital so that we might feel comfortable. Took the packed bag and snacks and went to the hospital at around 11:30 pm. Before leaving the house I said to my FIL - "I'll be back to pick you guys, or both of us will come back home".
The nurse checked and said that its only 1 cm dilation and they would admit only when the expectant mom has dilated at least 3 cm. "you'll take another 10-20 hrs honey" the nurse said. However, they called the doctor and asked "what do you want Kayal to do". The doctor in turn asked "what does Kayal want?". The answer, any guesses??? "Sleeppp! I want to sleep!!". The doctor prescribed a mild sedative and said it might help her sleep for 2-4 hrs, and asked us to come back to the hospital in case it doesn't work. Took the tablet, had some late night dinner (dosaiiiii) and slept. I had a mokkai cold for the past 2 days...so I also took a cold tablet and slept. Kayal had problems sleeping and was struggling with pain from 3:00 am. I woke up at around 3:45 and tried to console her (as if that helps). The timing was around 411-511. I kept telling Kayal to breathe and she just told me to call the doctor! I called the doctor at 4:19 and said "my wife is in unbearable pain, we want to go to the hospital!!". The doctor said "okay, go". Called the labor and delivery and said we were coming. Kayal slowly walked up to car and put on her seat belt. Again me to the FIL - "I'll admit Kayal and come back to pick up you". I slowly drove to the hospital, parked the car in the 10 min loading and unloading area, pulled the wheel chair, loaded Kayal onto the chair and took her to the labor and delivery ward. While I was signing some documents, Kayal was taken to the delivery room. Kayal went into the room and said "I need to use the restroom now!" The nurses were like "ok, go ahead". The nurse Sherlock Holmes range ku thought something and checked Kayal, and said "Honey you need to push the baby out. There is nothing to do in the restroom. Lets go to the bed". Kayal slowly walked to the bed and after she lied down, I could see the fuzzy hair of our kid!! I told Kayal "Our Napa is here! I can see his head. He has lot of hair!" The doctor came and introduced himself to me "Hi, I am Scissero", at least that is what I think his name was (because he carried a lot of scissors with him when he came in). Everyone were moving here and there....I was like - akka endha oorathula naan poi nikkanum nu sollunga. For the tamil challenged people I asked which corner I should go and stand. The nurse akka told...dho andha oorathula poi muttiko. I went to that oram and muttified with a table. The same nurse akka told Kayal "Honey, I can see your baby's head. It is too late for epidural or any pain medication, but we will help you get through the pain". Dr. Scissero got ready to deliver the baby. First contraction push: the head slighly bulged out and went in. Second push the same. The third push and the baby was out! The baby turned just like professional waiter turn the wine bottle after pouring in the clockwise direction. "Do you want to cut the cord?" asked the doctor. "Ofcourse" I said. Cutted the cord and heard the baby cry! whattey sweet sound - the first and last time any parent smiles when the baby cries! I feel sorry for the support staff in the room :(. We came in at 5:00 am and the staff were getting the IV setup and doing all the arrangements. They were half way through and the baby came out at 5:15 am. Vandha vegathula they packed and left :D.
Whattey wonderful magical moment!
Time for some mokka advice:
1. Men should take half of the responsibility during pregnancy, labor, childbirth, and taking care of the child after birth, I say!
2. IT IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF THE DAD TO TAKE CARE OF THE MOM AND THE BABY.
3. Grandparents are just additional support! Dads should follow the sleep/feeding cycle of the baby and mom for at least the first week, so that they understand what a women goes through after child birth. Just leaving the mom and baby with their grandparents is not right! Dads should step up! Do the laundry, vacuum the house, cook tasty meal (at least meal if not tasty), change the diaper, burp the baby, clean the poopy clothes, etc etc!
Well this is what a baby in life does to the mokkai master....it makes him feel more responsible and educate the ignorant people!
Something is missing...what abba??? yesss! the punch line!
A delivery with no IV, no hassle, no delay, not even a single needle into the skin! That's my wonder woman Kayalvizhi, and her protector Imai!
Signing off
The great one!
